Empty Pondering: The Dark Heart of Professor Utonium

powerpuff_girls_charactersWhile stir-frying some veggies the other day a neural hamster got loose inside my noggin and dug out the opening theme of the Powerpuff Girls cartoon. As various greens sizzled and wilted I stirred and stirred and muttered “Sugar… Spice… Everything nice… Blah Blah Blah… CHEMICAL X!”

The errant neural hamster found herself a wheel inside these memories, and got to running.

Oh, you’ve never seen the show? Well, it’s a cartoon about cute superhero girls. As the opening theme recounts, they were created by Professor Utonium, who fills the role of their father and is generally daft and dopey, and has lots of right angles. They were an accident. He was trying to create perfect little girls in his lab with the fore-mentioned ingredients.

(I got sugar and spice, but what aisle at Costco has “everything nice?” Can I get this in small packages, or must I buy in bulk?)

Anyway… the Prof (who didn’t seem to be actually affiliated with a University) had a little accident, spilled some “chemical x” in the brew, and made superheroes instead.

What worries me is this; as far as I know, no one has ever challenged the ethics of Professor Utonium creating bottle-grown humans in his lab. And more, what was his motivation? I mean, this is a single guy, without supervision, who is trying to make perfect, sweet, compliant little girls. Why would he do this? What did he want with them? I can think of a few reasons, and none of them are good. Where was the scientific community on this one? Is Professor Uonium actually a really, really sick, twisted villain? Was Mojo Jojo just trying to forcibly impose scientific ethical oversight all along?


These questions need answers. Good thing the Powerpuff Girls can defend themselves physically, cuz that professor Utonium is one sick puppy. But who is looking out for their psychological defense? I mean, superpowers or not, they’re only children.

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